Since classes are over and I'm allowed to think about anything I want again, I've of course been thinking. Something I realized yesterday as I was at a wedding discussing life with old friends, was that I don't really have a "place" right now. For the first time in my life I'm really "in between." I'm from Pittsburgh, I went to Denison, and now I live in Kent, but I don't necessarily feel connected to any of these places. I will always have ties to each location that are each special in their own ways, but I do not feel there is a place for me to plant my roots just yet. As unsettling as this feels at times, it's also comforting. It really makes me feel like I have the world at my fingertips and I can do anything and go anywhere. It's the beauty of being young and free I suppose.
As I mentioned, I was at a wedding yesterday. It was both beautiful and eye-opening. I am old. I don't say that in the sense of "I'm so old, wah, wah, wah" but the sort of old where you are on the dance floor and the "young kids" are doing dances that you either don't recognize or they simply are appalling. It was funny, really. Seven- year old little kids were dancing the dougie better than the original dougie-er's themselves! The other eye-opening factor of that evening was the fact that two of my good friends from college are now married. They are Mr. & Mrs. Husband and wife! It's a surreal experience that I never expected to affect me so much. It really made me see some new things in life that are so beautiful, like real love and the bond of marriage. I have never seen two people more perfect for each other than Tony and Elizabeth. I'm glad their wedding was my first "friends wedding." It's going to be tough to beat...
Revelations. They are constantly happening and always coming to light. Every day I have a new revelation about something that I did not know before. The other day I was thinking about people and how each person has their story. It's a very cliche thought these days, but it really struck me that we truly are each our own person. We fight our own battles and are only as strong as we are made to be. A book I'm reading described people as being "soft." I've always wondered why I'm so sensitive and why different things in life affect me the way they do--like the wedding I attended. This book helped me realize that I'm just soft. That's all it is. There's nothing wrong with me and I don't need to change, but I just need to remember that each person is fighting their own battles in their own ways and for me, it may be harder because I'm soft. I need to remember, though, that being soft means I have strengths that others do not possess as well. It is a compromising relationship with life, really. Depending on how you look at it, you can embrace it or become frustrated and reject it. I've decided to embrace it. I'm starting with seeing the good in each experience and realizing that I'm fighting my own battles, no one else's.
Revelations is the last book of the New Testament, I think I shall read it. Maybe it will enlighten my thoughts and where my mind is currently lounging nicely....I hope you have a revelation today. It's both uplifting and rejuvenating.
hugs.
